Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Hear While Studying For Final Exams (and my would-be reactions)

10) Who cares? They're not worth that much, are they?
Ummm, actually...

9) Even if you ace this exam, I'm still going to think that you're an idiot.
Well, at least the feeling is mutual.

8)Why don't you just give up and apply at McDonald's? It's not like you're at all capable of passing this...
We'll see. Anger is a really good motivator.

7) Why don't you get smarter? Then you won't have to study so hard.
Because I haven't thought of that idea. Really. If you know of some way to achieve this that's not straight out of a Harry Potter book, I would be much obliged if you told me about it.

6) If you haven't started studying for my exam by now, you might as well not bother studying at all because you are going to fail anyway!
Thanks for the vote of confidence, I'm going to go start studying now.

5) Hey, wanna come on vacation to Hawaii with me? I'll pay for you, but we have to leave tonight...
I want to go more than you'll ever know. However, REALITY calls.

4) Oh, and that last paper you were supposed to write but I never assigned? Have it done for the day of your exam.
As if I didn't have enough to do already...thanks a billion!

3) I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves....
And this is how it goes...AUUGGHH! Curse you and your annoying songs of doom!!!

2) What are you talking about? Today's calculus exam is cumulative, the professor only said so half a dozen times...
...oh, crap...

1) Didn't you hear? That exam was moved to Saturday... Last Saturday.
...Holy crap!!!! Well, there goes my grade point average...