I used to be a big fan of the Christian music genre. Lately, not so much. It's not because anything about the genre itself has changed, to my knowledge. It's because I've developed a music pet peeve that is pretty rampant in Christian music: songs that outlast their content.
Let's say an artist writes a lovely, artistic song with enough well-written lyrics and good instrumental solos to provide the listener with about 3 minutes of new material. It is NOT okay to put 3 minutes of said song on the CD, along with 2 minutes of blatant filler material and call it a 5 minute song.
They add filler in a multitude of ways, including having the guitarist finger pick the melody of the song repeatedly with no accompaniment, having the lead singer re-sing random fragments of the song, inside jokes amongst the band, and even plain silence in some cases. However, the most annoying of these filler items has to be when the guitarist plays a single chord while the singer screams "I Love Jesus!", or something of the like over and over again. It makes me want to write the band a letter:
Dear (insert Christian band name),
It is pretty safe to say that everyone listening to your CHRISTIAN ROCK album is doing so because they LOVE JESUS (unless their friend is forcing them to, but that's neither here nor there...). You've also most likely been singing about how much you love Jesus for three minutes now. It's kind of moot to tack "I love Jesus!" on at the end even once, let alone over and over again to the tune of a single guitar chord. Please stop.
Thank you,
Brittney
If any Christian artists are reading this, please take note.
Even so, I concede that filler material does have it's place. It is completely appropriate for a concert setting, as it allows the band time to take a drink, cough, change the settings on their amplifiers, or whatever else they need to do to prepare for the next song, and it keeps the mood of concert goers up. Where it doesn't belong is on the radio in my car, while I'm sitting alone, wanting to listen to music. Instead, I'm stuck listening to whatever self-indulgent fluff you decided to tack onto the end of your song to make it longer. It doesn't make me admire your devotion or want to buy your albums, it's just annoying. So please, by all means, record filler tracks if you want to, but when the time comes to release the album, leave them on the cutting room floor where they belong!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
An Observation
It gets harder to write posts the more you think about them.
I've been writing new drafts pretty much every day this week, and each seems more heinous then the last. So apologies for my recent silnece, hopefully I'll get over this writer's block soon. :)
I've been writing new drafts pretty much every day this week, and each seems more heinous then the last. So apologies for my recent silnece, hopefully I'll get over this writer's block soon. :)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The Funniest Hour and a Half of My Life
Today I got together with a friend to watch a low budget movie on Netflix featuring one of my favorite literary characters, Sherlock Holmes. Although the movie was awful, it was truly an hour and a half well spent. I could go on for a long time about all the things that I found hilarious about it, but I think the embedded preview should pretty much speak for itself. I give you, Asylum International's Sherlock Holmes! (Not to be confused with Guy Ritchie's recent blockbuster, this one is low budget all the way.)
Yes, that was a mechanized fire-breathing dragon.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Happy Easter! :)
 |
| Basically what happens when you give me chocolate. |
Easter is great. Jesus died and then rose from the dead for us. Which is a pretty good reason to party.
Even if you're not christian, you have to admit that hiding and hunting for easter eggs is a pretty fun way to spend a Sunday.
Also, I love dresses, and I kind of look out of place wearing them at any other time. But I can break them out on Easter because everyone does it.
But the biggest reason I love Easter (well, except for Jesus, of course) is the chocolate. As you can see from the illustration, it's a pretty bad scenario for anyone who is not me, but chocolate makes me pretty darned excited.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
The Anatomy of a Chain Facebook Status Update
No doubt you've seen them creeping about your wall at some point.They generally go something like this:
Jane Doe ____% of people have __________ . These people suffer through ___________ every day. 99% of people who read this won't repost it, but I hope that you're in the 1% that chooses to. Together we can make a difference in the fight against _______ .
The first thing that will strike about these posts is the overall mood of the piece. Some are ironic and are clearly not meant to be taken seriously. For example:
Jane Doe 100% of dinosaurs have experienced abuse at the hands of asteroids. Asteroids often pummel dinosaurs for the sheer joy of it, much to the devastation of the dinosaurs and their families. 95% of people will stand by, but will you be part of the 5% that stand up for the rights of our prehistoric friends? Together, we can help end dinosaur abuse in its tracks.
These are the less annoying variety, are even funny at times, and are generally harmless. The second subtype, however, are true wolves in sheep's clothing. They are parasitic in nature, born off of real world suffering, feeding off of guilt, and shaming people into allowing them to reproduce. I speak of course of the dreaded sympathetic message. For example:
Jane Doe 53% of people suffer from asthma. Asthma is a devastating disease that limits a person's ability to breathe. Almost 98% of people will read this and not have the courage to repost it and take a stand against the disease. However, I am part of the 2% of people who do care enough to repost this message and hope that my friends will be the people I think they are and do the same. Remember, every downpour starts with a single drop of rain, together we can make a difference!
Sympathetic posts always have an agenda behind them, whether it is political, religious, or to raise awareness about a cause.
The next thing you will realise about these posts is that they are rather formulaic in nature, regardless of subtype. They all share a similar structure (or anatomy, if you will).
The Opening Statistic- this is a percentage, most likely made up, intended to shock the reader with how extensive the plight in question really is. The number is often high, motivating the reader to continue.
Introduction of Topic- this is where the reader is first notified of the subject of the update. It is also where the subtype of the post becomes clear. The ironic posts generally feature an outlandish statement in this segment, while the sympathetic subtype will usually feature some form of real human or animal suffering, whether it's abuse, starvation, or an illness of some kind.
The Continuation- this sentence will add a little more color to the picture that the post is trying to paint. Usually a sarcastic or funny remark in the ironic subtype or a quick description of how being afflicted sucks in the sympathetic subtype.
The Set-Up- this segment looks similar in both posts, however, the intonation will further differentiate the two. While an ironic update will simply state the percentage (which, again, is likely made up in both cases) of people who will not repost it, a sympathetic update will paint those who choose not to repost as cold, uncaring, or scared to stand up for what they believe in.
The Request- the request is invariably to repost the status update. In an ironic update, the request is not so much a demand as an invitation to be part of an inside joke. In a sympathetic update, the request is more manipulative, appealing to a person's sense of pride and conscience, asking the reader to be part of the small, made up percent of people who are "better than" their non-posting peers. The implication in a sympathetic email is that reposting is the only way to prove to everyone that you care.
The Closing- this usually reinforces the idea that everyone is doing it and that by reposting, you are part of the "in-group", while doing something tangible to help those in need (although the latter is only applicable to the sympathetic subtype).
Don't get me wrong, I usually do support the causes brought up by these posts. However, I feel that raising awareness can only go so far, and when people repost these updates thinking that their job is done, it prevents people from actually helping out (through donations, volunteer work, or some other venue). Posting and reposting alone will never end any type of suffering, no matter how well-intentioned it may be. And when the motive is to convert people to your political/religious viewpoint, it's pretty clear that an impersonal status update with indeterminate origins and accuracy won't do the trick. Just sayin'.
Jane Doe ____% of people have __________ . These people suffer through ___________ every day. 99% of people who read this won't repost it, but I hope that you're in the 1% that chooses to. Together we can make a difference in the fight against _______ .
The first thing that will strike about these posts is the overall mood of the piece. Some are ironic and are clearly not meant to be taken seriously. For example:
Jane Doe 100% of dinosaurs have experienced abuse at the hands of asteroids. Asteroids often pummel dinosaurs for the sheer joy of it, much to the devastation of the dinosaurs and their families. 95% of people will stand by, but will you be part of the 5% that stand up for the rights of our prehistoric friends? Together, we can help end dinosaur abuse in its tracks.
These are the less annoying variety, are even funny at times, and are generally harmless. The second subtype, however, are true wolves in sheep's clothing. They are parasitic in nature, born off of real world suffering, feeding off of guilt, and shaming people into allowing them to reproduce. I speak of course of the dreaded sympathetic message. For example:
Jane Doe 53% of people suffer from asthma. Asthma is a devastating disease that limits a person's ability to breathe. Almost 98% of people will read this and not have the courage to repost it and take a stand against the disease. However, I am part of the 2% of people who do care enough to repost this message and hope that my friends will be the people I think they are and do the same. Remember, every downpour starts with a single drop of rain, together we can make a difference!
Sympathetic posts always have an agenda behind them, whether it is political, religious, or to raise awareness about a cause.
The next thing you will realise about these posts is that they are rather formulaic in nature, regardless of subtype. They all share a similar structure (or anatomy, if you will).
The Opening Statistic- this is a percentage, most likely made up, intended to shock the reader with how extensive the plight in question really is. The number is often high, motivating the reader to continue.
Introduction of Topic- this is where the reader is first notified of the subject of the update. It is also where the subtype of the post becomes clear. The ironic posts generally feature an outlandish statement in this segment, while the sympathetic subtype will usually feature some form of real human or animal suffering, whether it's abuse, starvation, or an illness of some kind.
The Continuation- this sentence will add a little more color to the picture that the post is trying to paint. Usually a sarcastic or funny remark in the ironic subtype or a quick description of how being afflicted sucks in the sympathetic subtype.
The Set-Up- this segment looks similar in both posts, however, the intonation will further differentiate the two. While an ironic update will simply state the percentage (which, again, is likely made up in both cases) of people who will not repost it, a sympathetic update will paint those who choose not to repost as cold, uncaring, or scared to stand up for what they believe in.
The Request- the request is invariably to repost the status update. In an ironic update, the request is not so much a demand as an invitation to be part of an inside joke. In a sympathetic update, the request is more manipulative, appealing to a person's sense of pride and conscience, asking the reader to be part of the small, made up percent of people who are "better than" their non-posting peers. The implication in a sympathetic email is that reposting is the only way to prove to everyone that you care.
The Closing- this usually reinforces the idea that everyone is doing it and that by reposting, you are part of the "in-group", while doing something tangible to help those in need (although the latter is only applicable to the sympathetic subtype).
Don't get me wrong, I usually do support the causes brought up by these posts. However, I feel that raising awareness can only go so far, and when people repost these updates thinking that their job is done, it prevents people from actually helping out (through donations, volunteer work, or some other venue). Posting and reposting alone will never end any type of suffering, no matter how well-intentioned it may be. And when the motive is to convert people to your political/religious viewpoint, it's pretty clear that an impersonal status update with indeterminate origins and accuracy won't do the trick. Just sayin'.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
My Day (Syntax Not Included)
On Monday, I finished my exams, and by extension, my first year of University! :) In celebration, here's a description of my first awesomely lazy day of Summer (well, my two week vacation before I start work, that is...)...SANS PROPER SENTENCE STRUCTURE!!!! (hooray!). PS: I wrote this to celebrate being able to do so, but if readability is at all important to you, I would recommend not reading this post past this point.
Woke up; laid in bed until I remembered how sick laying in bed all day makes me feel. Time to get up
Answered the phone it's the guy who hired me. He sends some paperwork to be filled out and mailed back to him...tried to read the employee manual. So bored...facebook. NO, must read this and be responsible...facebook. My friend has sent me a message! Hi.
I'm kinda hungry maybe I should eat. Go to kitchen. Get sandwich. Eat sandwich while chatting with my friend. Friend ordered a pizza. Suddenly I can smell pizza. Am I going crazy? Who cares, because now I can think about is pizza. I really want a pizza...I kind of wish my sandwich was a pizza. Hang on: pizza's expensive. I'm broke. So nevermind.
Thought about what haircut and color I want to get next. Seriously considered the sixth haircut on this website. Site says it's an emo cut but I dissagree. Told my mom I wanted this color because I was curious what her reaction would be. The color seemed crazy until I saw this and realised that I kind of liked it and would actually consider having it done.
Time to go to my guitar lesson, except I don't want to get dressed. Why am I so lazy? I could make myself presentable...meh. Watched a rerun of How I Met Your Mother instead. It was the one where Ted invites Robin to a wedding to impress her and almost wrecks his friend's marriage.
Lesson was fine. My teacher said he was having a bad teaching day. But it was okay because I was having a bad student day. Told him about Rebecca Black's new single which I won't link to because it's so bad. Look it up if you want to, but don't say you weren't warned. But it is kind of hilarious. The "best" line is "his eyes look great coz they are brown".
Went to the drugstore and bought nail polish and a hairstyle magazine. Went home. Watched the second half of The Biggest Loser. Why do I even watch this show? I don't like it that much and it's super long...I could be doing something better, like reading that manual. Oh well.
Found a film version of 1984 on Netflix and thought about watching it. Then I remembered how much just reading the Room 101 scene made my toes curl and decided that watching it unfold on my TV would probably give me nightmares. Then I watched The Butterfly Effect which was really dissapointing. The premise was interesting but the way it played out was pretty predictable. That's two hours of my life I'm not getting back.
Could have watched Iron Man II. It's based on a comic book, but it still would have been less of a waste of time because Robert Downey Jr. is funny as a superhero and I like watching what Gweneth Paltrow is wearing. Also, I didn't understand what Scarlett Johansson is doing there the first time I saw it so maybe I'd figure that out. Oh well. Maybe in daylight tomorrow, I'll watch 1984 and spend the rest of my vacation paranoid that Big Brother is Watching Me. Better yet, I'll watch it the night before I start work. That'll make for an interesting first day.
Laid in bed, typed up this post. After I turn off the computer, I will read my bible and go to sleep. Then be just as lazy tomorrow. Well, almost, I have to read that manual. :)
Woke up; laid in bed until I remembered how sick laying in bed all day makes me feel. Time to get up
Answered the phone it's the guy who hired me. He sends some paperwork to be filled out and mailed back to him...tried to read the employee manual. So bored...facebook. NO, must read this and be responsible...facebook. My friend has sent me a message! Hi.
I'm kinda hungry maybe I should eat. Go to kitchen. Get sandwich. Eat sandwich while chatting with my friend. Friend ordered a pizza. Suddenly I can smell pizza. Am I going crazy? Who cares, because now I can think about is pizza. I really want a pizza...I kind of wish my sandwich was a pizza. Hang on: pizza's expensive. I'm broke. So nevermind.
Thought about what haircut and color I want to get next. Seriously considered the sixth haircut on this website. Site says it's an emo cut but I dissagree. Told my mom I wanted this color because I was curious what her reaction would be. The color seemed crazy until I saw this and realised that I kind of liked it and would actually consider having it done.
Time to go to my guitar lesson, except I don't want to get dressed. Why am I so lazy? I could make myself presentable...meh. Watched a rerun of How I Met Your Mother instead. It was the one where Ted invites Robin to a wedding to impress her and almost wrecks his friend's marriage.
Lesson was fine. My teacher said he was having a bad teaching day. But it was okay because I was having a bad student day. Told him about Rebecca Black's new single which I won't link to because it's so bad. Look it up if you want to, but don't say you weren't warned. But it is kind of hilarious. The "best" line is "his eyes look great coz they are brown".
Went to the drugstore and bought nail polish and a hairstyle magazine. Went home. Watched the second half of The Biggest Loser. Why do I even watch this show? I don't like it that much and it's super long...I could be doing something better, like reading that manual. Oh well.
Found a film version of 1984 on Netflix and thought about watching it. Then I remembered how much just reading the Room 101 scene made my toes curl and decided that watching it unfold on my TV would probably give me nightmares. Then I watched The Butterfly Effect which was really dissapointing. The premise was interesting but the way it played out was pretty predictable. That's two hours of my life I'm not getting back.
Could have watched Iron Man II. It's based on a comic book, but it still would have been less of a waste of time because Robert Downey Jr. is funny as a superhero and I like watching what Gweneth Paltrow is wearing. Also, I didn't understand what Scarlett Johansson is doing there the first time I saw it so maybe I'd figure that out. Oh well. Maybe in daylight tomorrow, I'll watch 1984 and spend the rest of my vacation paranoid that Big Brother is Watching Me. Better yet, I'll watch it the night before I start work. That'll make for an interesting first day.
Laid in bed, typed up this post. After I turn off the computer, I will read my bible and go to sleep. Then be just as lazy tomorrow. Well, almost, I have to read that manual. :)
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Job Hunting and Finals: Do Not Mix
I'm sort of dude-like in my tendency to like to focus on one thing at a time. Seriously, I cannot multitask.
Unfortunately, though, exams are in April which, coincidentally, is the same month that you have to apply for summer jobs. Right now, I've applied at two places and I have an offer from one, except I'm pretty sure I'm the only applicant for the other job. Of the two, the one with the work I'm most excited about doing pays significantly less, and I need to know which job I want by monday. Unfortunately, all this is on top of the two exams I need to write on Saturday and the one on Monday, which, coincidentally, is also the day I need to tell Company A (the well paying job I have a solid offer for) what my decision is. Usually, I would put everything on hold just to ponder a decision like this, but that's not really an option right now. I'm totally freaking out. I can't even study because I'm so distracted by the prospect, and I can't even push it temporarily out of my head to finish finals because I have to have a decision made by Monday...this is SO stressful!! There are rumors that if you fail your finals, you'll fail the course. With all of this going on right now, I better hope those are false. And on top of all that, I'm scared that the job I choose will fall through and I'll end up with neither. I'll have four months of sitting on the couch doing nothing. Which would REALLY suck. I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I'm one of those theoretically smart people that kind of suck at real life. Oh well, I guess I can use the money I make from whichever job I end up taking to buy a shack in the woods and become a recluse, mad scientist or something...maybe I'll invent something worthwhile and then my insanity will at least serve a purpose...
Anyway, it felt good to get that out. Hopefully I didn't alienate any one too much with that little outburst.
Unfortunately, though, exams are in April which, coincidentally, is the same month that you have to apply for summer jobs. Right now, I've applied at two places and I have an offer from one, except I'm pretty sure I'm the only applicant for the other job. Of the two, the one with the work I'm most excited about doing pays significantly less, and I need to know which job I want by monday. Unfortunately, all this is on top of the two exams I need to write on Saturday and the one on Monday, which, coincidentally, is also the day I need to tell Company A (the well paying job I have a solid offer for) what my decision is. Usually, I would put everything on hold just to ponder a decision like this, but that's not really an option right now. I'm totally freaking out. I can't even study because I'm so distracted by the prospect, and I can't even push it temporarily out of my head to finish finals because I have to have a decision made by Monday...this is SO stressful!! There are rumors that if you fail your finals, you'll fail the course. With all of this going on right now, I better hope those are false. And on top of all that, I'm scared that the job I choose will fall through and I'll end up with neither. I'll have four months of sitting on the couch doing nothing. Which would REALLY suck. I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I'm one of those theoretically smart people that kind of suck at real life. Oh well, I guess I can use the money I make from whichever job I end up taking to buy a shack in the woods and become a recluse, mad scientist or something...maybe I'll invent something worthwhile and then my insanity will at least serve a purpose...
Anyway, it felt good to get that out. Hopefully I didn't alienate any one too much with that little outburst.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Why Cupcakes are Pretty Much the Greatest Things Ever Invented
If you need to be told why, you should probably eat them more often. They're delicious, they have icing (ICING) on them, and their size helps to limit your intake to a managable amount. Also, you can decorate them with much less effort and more versatility than cake, still with beautiful results. Cupcakes are great for sharing and ideal for parties because they don't require plates or forks (so no dishes for you!). Also, studying has clearly turned my brain to mush, or else there is no way I would have published this...
Friday, April 8, 2011
The Funnest/Unfunnest Job Ever.
I've only been anesthetized twice; once that I can remember (the first time, I was too young). It was a couple of years ago, and my doctor wanted to perform an invasive test on me, so I would have to be put to sleep otherwise it would have been to painful for me. So that's what they did, and what I experienced that day showed me why being an anaesthesiologist would be an awful job exactly fifty percent of the time.
First, I went in to be put to sleep. The last thing I remember from that was the distinct sensation that I was suffocating, and trying to scream and cry for help. It was dumb, in retrospect, but I thought I was going to die. Unless my imagination is just rogue and most people don't feel the same way (which, come to think of it, is entirely possible), having to make people think you were gassing them to death every day would make this possibly the least fun ever. In reality, you're just gassing the person to unconsciousness, but I imagine it would be tough to escape the guilt of seeing people panic and struggle.
What redeems this career path, though, is what happens when the anaesthesia starts to wear off. The first thing I remember was trying to ask the nurse to trade email addresses so we could "keep in touch". Of course, my speech was so slurred that it's unlikely she understood me at all, but I distinctly remember trying to recite my email address for her several times. Once the anaesthesia wore off completely, first I realised how insane I must have sounded, then I realised that the nurse (if she understood me) has probably heard much, much crazier sounding things (after all, all of her patients are drugged). Which is how I arrived at the conclusion that maybe anaesthesiology wouldn't be so bad, after all. You'd have something to laugh at, at least. :)
First, I went in to be put to sleep. The last thing I remember from that was the distinct sensation that I was suffocating, and trying to scream and cry for help. It was dumb, in retrospect, but I thought I was going to die. Unless my imagination is just rogue and most people don't feel the same way (which, come to think of it, is entirely possible), having to make people think you were gassing them to death every day would make this possibly the least fun ever. In reality, you're just gassing the person to unconsciousness, but I imagine it would be tough to escape the guilt of seeing people panic and struggle.
What redeems this career path, though, is what happens when the anaesthesia starts to wear off. The first thing I remember was trying to ask the nurse to trade email addresses so we could "keep in touch". Of course, my speech was so slurred that it's unlikely she understood me at all, but I distinctly remember trying to recite my email address for her several times. Once the anaesthesia wore off completely, first I realised how insane I must have sounded, then I realised that the nurse (if she understood me) has probably heard much, much crazier sounding things (after all, all of her patients are drugged). Which is how I arrived at the conclusion that maybe anaesthesiology wouldn't be so bad, after all. You'd have something to laugh at, at least. :)
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes!
They say that we only have two seasons in Canada: Winter and Summer (or as some people prefer to call it, Waiting-for-Winter). And really, the majority of our Summer is more like what would be considered late spring in most other places. This year, that's especially true in Alberta, with winter having stretched for five whole months already (and snow still covering a good percentage of the ground). So people like myself (you know, the ones who can't stand winter) become absolutely elated at the most rediculous things. The smallest patch of grass, the tiniest rise in the mercury above freezing, a meltwater puddle on the sidewalk. Talking about the weather becomes something you do with your close friends, not just random strangers you want to make polite conversation with. Because we can walk out onto our decks (even if there's only a square meter around the doorway cleared) AND WE ARE EXCITED ABOUT IT! Even my cat gets excited at the prospect of spring. He stares out the windows, sunbathes on the floor, and peeks out the back door to breathe in the fresh air (it's still to cold for him to want to actually go out, so I let him do so). It doesn't matter how bad a mood I start the day in, one look at those puddles and one breath of that fresh spring air cures me right away. I always miss this time of year, and I'm so happy it's back.
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