No doubt you've seen them creeping about your wall at some point.They generally go something like this:
Jane Doe ____% of people have __________ . These people suffer through ___________ every day. 99% of people who read this won't repost it, but I hope that you're in the 1% that chooses to. Together we can make a difference in the fight against _______ .
The first thing that will strike about these posts is the overall mood of the piece. Some are ironic and are clearly not meant to be taken seriously. For example:
Jane Doe 100% of dinosaurs have experienced abuse at the hands of asteroids. Asteroids often pummel dinosaurs for the sheer joy of it, much to the devastation of the dinosaurs and their families. 95% of people will stand by, but will you be part of the 5% that stand up for the rights of our prehistoric friends? Together, we can help end dinosaur abuse in its tracks.
These are the less annoying variety, are even funny at times, and are generally harmless. The second subtype, however, are true wolves in sheep's clothing. They are parasitic in nature, born off of real world suffering, feeding off of guilt, and shaming people into allowing them to reproduce. I speak of course of the dreaded sympathetic message. For example:
Jane Doe 53% of people suffer from asthma. Asthma is a devastating disease that limits a person's ability to breathe. Almost 98% of people will read this and not have the courage to repost it and take a stand against the disease. However, I am part of the 2% of people who do care enough to repost this message and hope that my friends will be the people I think they are and do the same. Remember, every downpour starts with a single drop of rain, together we can make a difference!
Sympathetic posts always have an agenda behind them, whether it is political, religious, or to raise awareness about a cause.
The next thing you will realise about these posts is that they are rather formulaic in nature, regardless of subtype. They all share a similar structure (or anatomy, if you will).
The Opening Statistic- this is a percentage, most likely made up, intended to shock the reader with how extensive the plight in question really is. The number is often high, motivating the reader to continue.
Introduction of Topic- this is where the reader is first notified of the subject of the update. It is also where the subtype of the post becomes clear. The ironic posts generally feature an outlandish statement in this segment, while the sympathetic subtype will usually feature some form of real human or animal suffering, whether it's abuse, starvation, or an illness of some kind.
The Continuation- this sentence will add a little more color to the picture that the post is trying to paint. Usually a sarcastic or funny remark in the ironic subtype or a quick description of how being afflicted sucks in the sympathetic subtype.
The Set-Up- this segment looks similar in both posts, however, the intonation will further differentiate the two. While an ironic update will simply state the percentage (which, again, is likely made up in both cases) of people who will not repost it, a sympathetic update will paint those who choose not to repost as cold, uncaring, or scared to stand up for what they believe in.
The Request- the request is invariably to repost the status update. In an ironic update, the request is not so much a demand as an invitation to be part of an inside joke. In a sympathetic update, the request is more manipulative, appealing to a person's sense of pride and conscience, asking the reader to be part of the small, made up percent of people who are "better than" their non-posting peers. The implication in a sympathetic email is that reposting is the only way to prove to everyone that you care.
The Closing- this usually reinforces the idea that everyone is doing it and that by reposting, you are part of the "in-group", while doing something tangible to help those in need (although the latter is only applicable to the sympathetic subtype).
Don't get me wrong, I usually do support the causes brought up by these posts. However, I feel that raising awareness can only go so far, and when people repost these updates thinking that their job is done, it prevents people from actually helping out (through donations, volunteer work, or some other venue). Posting and reposting alone will never end any type of suffering, no matter how well-intentioned it may be. And when the motive is to convert people to your political/religious viewpoint, it's pretty clear that an impersonal status update with indeterminate origins and accuracy won't do the trick. Just sayin'.
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