S'no Fun

Today was the first snowfall of the season here in balmy ol' Edmonton.
Think of it: lovely little flakes, each looks perfectly round at first, but as you let one fall onto your hand, you see that it's actually star shaped, and every one as unique as the crystals that formed it. They're falling softly, covering the grey green of the dying grass in a pure, paper white blanket. What could possibly be wrong with this picture?
I shall tell you.
Snow represents winter.
That's what.
As beautiful and peaceful as the first snowfall of (gulp) winter is, what comes with it is anything but pleasant. First, there's the traffic issues. Everyone is getting into collisions because they have forgotten how to drive well in cold weather over the past six (okay, four, but I can dream, can't I?) months. Then, after a few days, the snow in the city has changed from that lovely afformentioned white to a muddy, gross brown. After about a month, it has completely solidified to full-blown lumps of ice because the temperature has dipped down to minus 40 degrees(celsius). The little snow that remains has turned into powder, useless for building forts, snowmen, forming snowballs, or even making decent snow angels. All that's left to enjoy is skiing, tobogganing, snowboarding, and a cup of hot chocolate once you get inside. The floors become muddy. Your glasses fog up every time you enter or exit a building, leaving you temporarily blind. Your nose runs. Your lips chap. You catch colds. Your skin gets dry and cracks. The days are so short now that you come home after dark at 6:00 pm.
Then, like the eye of a hurricane, Christmas comes and the snow is beautiful all over again, setting the mood to curl up by the fireplace (or watch the fireplace channel if you don't have a real one) with your family and maybe another mug of hot chocolate. It's still cold out, but you don't mind so much anymore. You have your loved ones and Christmas spirit to keep you warm.
Then January hits. All the things you hated about winter before Christmas are back, this time with about 50 times higher intensty than before. The bills from Christmas arrive, forcing you to come to terms with how much you actually spent partying it up last month. Kids go back to school, those adults lucky enough to have time off for Christmas go back to work, and life gets back to it's boring and too-cold-to-even-ski self. You start to get cranky, snapping at people for no reason (but don't worry about it, so do I) and wondering when the days will start to get longer. All this would still be tolerable if it only lasted another month or two, like it does in most places. But here in Edmonton, winter likes to make itself right at home. This year the last snowfall of the season was on May 29th. MAY. 29TH. I wish I was joking, but alas, I tell you no lie.
Finally, just when you can no longer bear it, the days start to get noticably longer, the now dog poop brown snow and ice starts the long process of melting, first to copious amounts of slush, then to gigantic gravel filled puddles, and finally to nothing at all. The grass gets greener, tulips start to bloom, and summer is coming. And that makes me very happy.
So, long story short, I was thoroughly unimpressed as I pulled on my comfiest thermal and a pair of wool socks this morning, not because of the snow itself, but because of what it promises for the coming months.